My 18 yr old child just came out as female to male transgender

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It seems there is an epidemic of teen girls and young adult women who are suddenly declaring they are FTM transgender, including my own d for whom it came out of the blue when she was 15. None of this “always wanted to play football and trucks since she was three” or “had only boys for friends and refused to wear dresses.”

According to a study in Journal of Sexual Medicine, which I read about on the “4thwavenow” wordpress blog, the incidence of girls who saying they are FTM has risen exponentially since around 2006 and continues to rise, way outpacing boys who say they are MTF. I’m not sure if we can post links here, so Google “4thwavenow wordpress why are more girls than boys presenting to gender clinics” and you will find this information and a link to the study.

IMHO, these girls need careful, long-term psychological counseling before any sort of steps are taken toward permanent transition. I’m no doctor, but IMHO none of these kids should start transition until at least age 25, once their brains have had a chance to mature past the impulsive nature of the teen and early twenties years. Testosterone effects can be permanent and dangerous to a female’s health. In addition to underlying mental issues that may contribute to a girl wanting to be a male or feeling more like a male than a female, many of these girls are simply looking at the current state of society and seeing that it stinks to be a woman.

There are many reasons girls today may want to escape womanhood. For one, females are judged mainly on their attractiveness to men rather than their intelligence or talent, or other more worthwhile traits. Additionally, easy access to porn may have exposed some of these girls to scenes illustrating that woman are nothing more than must-be-willing sex toys for men. Other girls have been sexually abused and retreat to maleness as a way of feeling more powerful, becoming invisible to or perhaps more able to fend off their abusers. Others are lesbians who have been exposed to homophobia and perhaps deduce that life would be easier as a “straight male” than as a lesbian woman. Then there is Bruce Jenner, who has reduced womanhood to ball gowns, hair extensions and and sparkly nail polish. Girls who prefer not to adorn themselves with stereotypical female trappings are made to feel as though they must be female. As crazy as it sounds, girls who like sports, computers, science and math and other traditionally male subjects, in some circles are being pressured to feel as though they must not be “real” girls.

I urge parents to move cautiously. get your kid in counseling stat, but have the counselor thoroughly explore any underlying mental health issues as well as some of the many reasons why your daughter might feel the way she does about her gender. Studies show 70-80% of kids outgrow their transgender feelings. Again, I am not in the medical field, but just a parent who thinks it is sensible to proceed with caution, rather than put girls on the fast track to transition. Even though these girls are too young to vote, smoke cigarettes, sign contracts or legally change their name — it is easy to find medical personnel who will put them on a fast track to permanent body changes with hormones and surgeries to remove healthy tissue.

Google “gender critical feminism.” Femaleness is being re-defined as sexy, sparkly, pink, pretty, and subservient. Just because a girl doesn’t fit this stereotype doesn’t mean she is “really” a male. A girl shouldn’t need to have disfiguring surgeries and be pumped full of dangerous male hormones to be allowed to wear cargo shorts, hiking boots and a short hair cut. Let your girl wear what she wants and go by whatever name she wants — she is still female no matter what she wears or what interests she pursues.

Allow these kids to mature before allowing them to make such huge, permanent decisions. Explore underlying mental issues and read on 4thwavenow about the problems with the accuracy of the 41% suicide ideation statistic.

This is an important message that is not popular in the trans community. I hope my comment will not be deleted. I am not trying to cause trouble, but just want parents and doctors to be cautious and sensible before allowing a teen to make these decisions. For some girls, the transition may be the lesser of two evils, but for others who hit the “regret stage” at about 6-10 years after transition, it is a devastating mistake. Make sure your daughter is not part of the 70-80% who are simply trying to escape the dismal prospects of being a female in today’s society.

About Joel Bates

Joel is an inspiring carpenter who is addicted to flying. Physically, he is built like a truck. He always carries a wand. He is hiding a terrible secret concerning his friend.

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